Prince Juan Paco and the Velveteen Rub

This was not written by me, nor do I find such banal humor funny.

Published with permission by - Guillermo Maria del Toro Gomez

Juan Paco was a handsome prince. So handsome in fact, that all the women of the swap meet swooned paisley when he glanced in their general direction. But none pleased him.

It was a fair spring day. Juan Paco was primping his curls and moving his tongue in circles while looking out from his pistachio booth over his dominion. A Paco manning a sunglasses booth caught Juan Paco's eye and instinctively winced and covered his ass. This made Juan Paco laugh. And with the laughter came nostalgia for when Juan Paco was but a common Paco. He fondly remembered the pain and pleasure of the prince, who was now El Rey, squeezing his ass so very hard.

Soon Juan Paco saw the paquitos had taken a break from the pistachio fields and were now running to their fathers and playing games in the aisles. While most were his own Juan Paco found it easier to let other Pacos raise them. Many of the Pacos themselves had been Juan Paco's paquitos, and even some of the younger paquitos were now having their own paquisimos. Suddenly Juan Paco felt old.

At first he felt shock and disbelief, then denial, then he began to bargain with his pistachios for fruit. This did not seem to help and a deep sense of guilt set in. Then quickly afterward he began to get very angry for now knowing why he felt guilty.

He looked in the mirror and noticed one of his primped curls had a gray hair, looking down at his penis he noticed freckles, and sadly he realized he could now count to nearly one hundred without taking his clothes off. Thinking back to when he was a young Paco, all he cared about was the women and their vaginae he would have access too. But was there more to life? Was there something more meaningful I could do with his gift of consciousness? he pondered. Certainly El Rey had access to many more vaginea than he did but Juan Paco hadn't heard of any El Rey's Reinas producing a paquisimo for a long time. He must have figured something out, reasoned Juan Paco, and arriving near evening at the Elderly Care home Juan Paco began quizzing El Rey on the matter.

“The idea of having more vaginae in my life….” “It'd be nice .. really nice and lots of fun,” he continued and then sighed with a smile. He sat up and nodded. “It’d be like having a trampoline in my back yard,” said El Rey in a matter of fact tone.

“Chu have trampoline here?” asked Juan Paco, eager to jump.

But El Rey merely continued to smile. When he caught the eye of El Reina who had just pulled out her dentures and placed them in Alka Seltzer, he winked at her and followed her eagerly into the bed room. Confused and feeling alone, Juan Paco began to hear loud sucking noises.

Caught between desire and revulsion, the horrific mindlessness of human sexuality began to drive Juan Paco insane. But slowly he began to feel acceptance of the aging process. The sounds of El Rey's pleasure gave him hope that the future prize of all his life's work would be the velveteen rub of a toothless blow job.

But as the sounds of El Rey's moans continued, as he imagined El Reina biting down with her gums, Juan Paco could not contain himself. Launching himself into the room, Juan Paco grabbed onto El Rey's butt check and pulled hard, separating El Rey's penis from the gaping maw. Then inserting himself into El Reina's mouth, Juan Paco himself swooned. He died and was reborn. All in all, it was just super.

But alas, no one squeezes El Rey's ass, and while Juan Paco enjoyed the velveteen rub El Rey killed him with a single swing of a golf club.


So ends the story of Prince Juan Paco and the Velveteen Rub.