Prince Juan Paco and the Tragedy of the Beautiful Squirrel

This was not written by me, nor do I find such banal humor funny.

Published with permission by - Guillermo Maria del Toro Gomez

Juan Paco was a handsome prince. So handsome in fact, that all the women of the swap meet swooned paisley when he glanced in their general direction. But none pleased him.

It was a fair spring day when Juan Paco found himself dangling from the waist of a beautiful woman named Linda Ardilla, who was in turn dangling from a tightrope. She was very strong but could do nothing but hold on for her life as they were suspended thirty feet from the pavement of the swap meet.

“I love you,” cried Juan, who was kicking off his pants.

“No baby, you are overestimating the differences between me and other women,” replied Linda as she struggled to hold on.

Hearing the music of her voice made Juan Paco remember the first time he saw her. It was a fair spring day and El Rey had hired some circus performers to celebrate for his birthday. As they came carrying their equipment Juan noticed the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. Her muscles were nearly as big as his and her breasts were large. She carried the heaviest of the equipment with so much ease that Juan Paco could not help to want to be held in those arms.

Not only was she attractive but just at the moment she passed his booth, he had an orgasm, having been masturbating for over two minutes, a new record. The release of dopamine into his brain pushed Juan Paco from lust directly into romantic love. Whipping the gizm from his face with a toss of his head, he knew he must pursue.

“I think about chu all day and all night. I can't stop thinking about chu,” panted Juan Paco as he finally freed his erect penis.

“I would die for chu,” continued Juan Paco, stating the obvious.

“I can't hold on Juan, you have to stop loving me,” grunted Linda.

“Tell me you love me,” breathed Juan Paco. “Tell me you want to live a happy life with me.”

“But Juan,” she panted, “we we're not built to be happy, we're built to reproduce.”

Juan Paco imagined all the paquisimos with strong big muscles Linda would make for him. He remembered when he followed her to her circus tent and first tried to make love with her. He could still feel the pepper spray stinging his eyes. He remembered his resolution to make her his own. After recovering from the pepper spray he found her walking a tight rope. She looked radiant and very intelligent. He noticed how all the other Pacos were looking at her crotch, eager for her to fall into their arms. He couldn't take it, and soon found himself walking the tightrope.

“I understand how you feel Juan,” said Linda, “here,” she gestured with her head, “grab back onto the rope or we will both fall!”

But Juan Paco's only move was to reach up to her shoulders and press his penis against her panties.

“Juan,” she begged, “Romantic love evolved so that we might hone in on one sex partner and spend our energy raising paquisimos.”

“I know baby, that is why I am loving you and only you,” panted Juan Paco as his penis had nearly broken through her panties.

Seeing her muscles holding onto the tight rope, Juan Paco remember how it felt to stand at the edge of the tightrope looking at her body. The Pacos below urged him on, and after one step he realized he lacked the balance to reach her with dignity. With a mighty jump he caught her around the hip, and had she not been so quick and strong they both would have fallen to their deaths. It was then he knew how lucky he was to have fallen for such a woman as her.

“Juan,” cried Linda. “Please baby stop loving me.”

But it was too late. Juan Paco's incessant humping had finally manage to break through her panties, and the pleasure was too great. Linda could no longer hold on and together they plummeted to the pavement.

“I love you,” cried Linda.

“I love you,” cried Juan Paco.

And together they died.

So end the story Prince Juan Paco and the Tragedy of the Beautiful Squirrel.